Holy Week With the Family

Author: Trustee Anthony Hoffman

At Mass the other day my almost-three-year-old lifted her finger, pointing towards the front of the church and said “Dad, I see purple!”  She was noting that the large crucifix behind the altar, and the statues of St. Paul and Our Lady of Fatima had been covered with deep violet linens.

This ancient custom of covering up beautiful works of art that are meant to lift our minds and hearts to the spiritual realities expresses a mourning, a withdrawal and the growing solemnity as we approach the coming death of Christ on Good Friday.  The veils hide the glory of the saints and the cross, reminding us how our vices darken our vision of God.

I realized that, at three, my little one is starting to really pick up for the first time some of the traditions and symbolism used by the church and the liturgical cycle to denote monumental events in the history of salvation. 

As we participate in the upcoming Holy Week, she will be seeing traditions, events and practices that will form the imagination, point to higher things and create lasting rhythms and memories that she will hopefully take with her into adulthood.  

The same reason we work hard to give our children beautiful traditions and create a bit of ‘magic’ around Christmastime with the movies we watch, music we play, events we participate in year after year, for Catholics, Easter and the weeks leading up to it are as important, if not more, than Christmas itself.

As St. Paul says in his first letter to the Corinthians, if Christ had not bodily risen from the dead, Christianity would be complete folly.  That none of us would have any reason to hope for forgiveness for anything we’ve ever done wrong, nor would there be any chance of seeing God in eternity.  Thank God for Easter!

During Holy Week, we enter in real time the events of the Passion of Christ.  The reason we read the entire narrative, not on Good Friday, but Palm Sunday, is so that the whole story is in front of our minds throughout the week.  The faithful receive blessed palm branches and sing ‘Hosanna’ hailing Christ as king, bringing to mind how fickle we can be toward God, because during the same Mass, the same crowd who welcomed Christ into Jerusalem with those palm branches, were shouting for his crucifixion short days later.

On Holy Thursday we participate in the Last Supper, where Christ instituted the Eucharist, fulfilling his promise to be with us ‘until the end of the age.’  He also inaugurates the priesthood with the washing of the apostles' feet.  As a family we started a tradition where, during supper on this day the Father will wash the feet of the Mother to show how he is called to serve her as Christ serves the church.  The mother then washes the feet of the oldest child, who then washes the feet of the second oldest etc.  The youngest then washes dads’ feet, symbolizing adherence to the honoring of parents. 

On Good Friday, the church fasts and prays, and enters into the passion narrative.  We always try to attend the Way of the Cross with the parish, to meditate on how much Christ had to suffer for our sake to win us heaven.  Doing this every year fosters a deep gratitude for our faith and reminds us of the cost of what has been given to us.  As a family we try to make this day and Holy Saturday markedly different from other days by not playing music, shows or any other excess privileges in the house.  We will sometimes do some quieter activities like painting eggs for the coming Sunday, or some baking for the upcoming feast. 

The whole effort is to convey to our children that something is different, something is missing.  That without Christ as the center of our lives, we are just not complete.  That there is an ache, a discomfort even, a feeling outside of normalcy.  Just like those veils in the churches are there to stir longing--to feel the ache of absence as we prepare to witness the mystery of Calvary. 

The forty days of lent are similar, we give up some good things as a fast in order to feel their absence.  We dull the physical joys and pleasures in order to awaken the spiritual cravings, so that at Easter, we can feel the jubilation of the goodness of God!  During Holy Week we walk, step by step with Jesus in his suffering so that we can feel, more viscerally his triumph!

Of course, Easter morning is a feast of feasts!  All the treats that we’ve gone without throughout lent, the finest music, celebration, egg hunts, and undistracted family time.  We dress well, eat well, and celebrate well--all to point to the pinnacle of human purpose and experience illuminated by this event of Our Lord's Resurrection!

Participating in these yearly traditions, events and practices helps teach our little ones the importance of the salvation narrative.  Seeing these play out, year after year, plants the themes and truths deeper into their minds and souls as they mature.  They become a message and language of their own, transmitting truths that can be hard to put into mere words.  Just as my three-year-old, pointing to the veiled crucifix, says “Dada, where’s Jesus?”  I get to say “He’s coming sweetie! Just a little bit longer!”